Archive | August, 2010

Telling her the truth about Hogwarts will be harder than explaining Santa.

31 Aug

M: Hey L, guess what?

L: What?

M: Only 5 years until I get my letter for Hogwarts. Too bad you have to wait longer than that.

L: That’s not fair!



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You’ve gotta work smarter.

30 Aug

M: Do you want to see my new convention?

L: No.

M: It’s a wine exterminator. (blows bubbles into her glass of apple juice) Instead of going outside to blow and pop bubbles you just blow them in your glass. Avoid the heat with the Wine Exterminator.

L: I said no.

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I asked M what a convention was and she said she meant invention. M: My brain must still be tired from school. I need a minute to cooperate. I didn’t tell her she probably meant recuperate. We could all use a minute to cooperate.

I don’t even know how to title this post.

26 Aug

L: Let me tell you about my dream.

M: Okay.

L: There was a guy with a knife but it was a saw that looked like a knife and he crept in the house at night but then the dad turned on the light so he hid and then he grabbed a pillow and then he stabbed the dad in the face through the pillow and then a vampire came in the window and bit the bad guy on the arm so he left the family alone.

M: Did the bad guy turn into a vampire?

L: No, but the next night the bad guy went back and killed all the kids.

M: Awww, poor kids.

L: It’s okay; they didn’t listen to their parwents.


The G-Rated version of “Indecent Proposal.” Sort of.

25 Aug

Me: Have  you made your bed and picked up your room?

M: First you have to give me some Teddy Grams.

Me: No, first you have to do what I say.

M: Only if you give me a dollar.

Me: I am not bargaining with you to get you to do your chores.

M: Everyone has their price, Mommy. Everyone. has. a. price.

Wait, what did you say again?

24 Aug

L: M, listen to the song I learned at school about the jew.

M: what?

L: Listen to my song about the jew.

M: What?

L: The Jew!

M: WHAT?! L! You shouldn’t talk about Jews like that. Mommy says don’t sing songs that make fun of people.

L: But, my song is all about the animals in the cages and following directions.

M: Do you mean the Z-O-O Zoo?

L: Yep. *commences singing but stops mid word* I am going to break all your toys when you are older.

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#1: I can’t believe she actually listens to me! Yay!

#2: Please forgive my erratic posting lately. I have decided to stop posting on Sundays and school started this week. It’s been crazy trying to get everyone on the new schedule!

Girls vs Boys: A study in nomenclature.

21 Aug

Both M and L have octopus stuffies. While M has had hers for a very, very long time, L only recently adopted his.

M calls her octopus Occy.

What did L name his octopus? Octopussy.

Emphasis heavily on the second half.

Dating and Lego Batman

20 Aug

M: Why does Catwoman keep blowing kisses to Batman after she steals the diamond?

L: Because he is sexy.

M: It’s like she’s on a date with him and he doesn’t know it.

L: Oh No, he knows it.