Archive | September, 2010

A life lesson for us all: Sucks is bad.

27 Sep

L: Are you guys kissing?

Me: Yes we are.

L: Why?

Me: Because we love each other and we like to.

L: Do you guys have sucks together?

Me: Daddy, do we have sucks together?

Daddy: I don’t know; what is sucks?

L: Making out.

Daddy: No, we don’t.

L: Good.

Advertisements

What cooking networks Really teach us…

23 Sep

M and L where watching “Chinese Food Made Easy” on the Cooking Network. It’s a BBC affiliated show.

Cooking Show Lady: To help tenderize the meat, just do this *smacks meat with side of a cleaver*

L: Oh yeah, beat that meat.

Me: What are you watching?

L: Mom, you should beat the meat more. If you don’t, it stays hard and not tender.

Me: *biting tongue to hold back inappropriate comment*

————————————————————————————————-

Here is the woman who inspires L to let me know I should beat the meat, Ching-He Huang:

Like a boss…

21 Sep

L: Look what I can do! *snaps fingers*

M: That’s not fair, I can’t do that.

L: Here, let me show you.

M: No, I don’t want to learn.

L: What if you need to tell someone what to do?

Daily Affirmation with M

20 Sep

M and I were watching television and just snuggling. I don’t quite remember what led up to this, but it is in my top 10 parenting moments.

Me: M, when you grow up, can you try to stay awesome?

M: I already am awesome.

Me: Who told you that?

M: I did. If you wanna make a friend, you gotta be a friend to yourself first.

I can’t wait to bring this story out when he brings a girl home.

16 Sep

Okay, let me set this up for you: L and M are coloring at the table. L is shaking his marker as hard as he can and then…

L: This markerl won’t work.

M: That is not a marker.

L: Oh yeah, if it’s not a markerl, what is it?

M: It is a baby stick. You pee on it, it fertilizes some seeds, and  it gives you a baby.

————————————————————————————————–

Yes, L was trying to color with a pregnancy test. Better yet, it is the test that told me I was having M! (I chose not to tell L he was trying to color with a peed on stick.) On a different note, M got some of it right, but I am glad she is still a bit unsure about how babies are made. Just knowing fertilization is involved is enough for now.

If I only had a video montage to set to “Eye of the Tiger”…

13 Sep

M: I changed Tigery’s name to Cuddles.

L: No! He is my Tigery and I like his name.

M: He isn’t even a tiger, he’s a lion.

L: Yes, but he wants to be a tiger when he grows up.

Best Friends Forever? Pishaw! We are a Fighting Machine!

10 Sep

M: Can Essence come to my birthday party? She’s my BFF.

L: What is a BFF?

M: Duh L, it means Brutal Force Friends. *sigh*